I Will Love You

“The mystery of loving is God’s sweetest secret.” ~Rumi

You are born from God’s breath, shiny, new and sparkling. Spinning out of nothingness, you arrive with lungs, heart and spirit full. You arrive with grace, full of innocence and wonderment and purity. You are born with the universe inside of you, from the root of the root of your own soul.

I want to speak to the bottom of your bottomless spirit. I want my words to speak to your undying innocence and wonderment and purity. I want these words to be enough. I want these words to be loud enough for you to know as I know, for you to feel as I feel, how our souls dance and laugh together endlessly. 

I wish these words could bring you back to God’s breath. I wish you could see the tenderness in it all.  I wish you could see that there really is no agenda. There is nothing to obtain. Nowhere to arrive. There is no keeping score, no fear of losing, nothing to gain. 

This journey is all there is; and the first breath you took, shiny and new, is the very same breath you take now. You do not lose anything along the way. It is all inside you as it always will be...

And I see you.

Disentangle yourself from yourself. You are the fountain of your own life.  

Open your chest and show me you scars, and I will love you.

Open your eyes and show me your fears, and I will love you.

Open your mouth and tell me your secrets, and I will love you. 

And I will always love you.

Of Kings and Queens

“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart of a king.” – Elizabeth I Tudor

Human beings are mortal. We temporarily inhabit these bodies, transitory guests on this earth, and we are far from perfect. But how can we be perfect? We are constantly in flux. Every day we change. Every day our cells die and renew. Expansion is inevitable. Our bodies provide it every second, whether we consciously know it or not.

We are inconsistent in all senses. We are flawed. It is by nature that we have these blemishes and imperfections just as it is by nature that we strive to fix them. The shortcomings of what each of us is living right here and now are the impetus to our desires.  They are our stepping blocks to the kingdom of our godliness.

Our imperfect bodies and busy minds diminish, but our essence shines evermore.  In body we are weak, but in spirit we are strong. In heart and soul we are kings and queens. In love, we are the fearless guardians of divine light. You and I were born from the rays of god’s majesty.

Soul of all souls, life of all life – you are that. Seen and unseen , words or no words  – YOU, my kings and queens, are all of that.

So ignore those that make you fearful and sad. Let go of all that brings you pain. Give up to grace. You are not the day’s minutia. You are not the story you have told yourself a thousand times. Become nothing and turn into everything. Be like melting snow – wash yourself of yourself. Appear as you are. Be as you appear. Be in love.  Welcome all that comes into your life. Listen carefully and hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you.

The road that leads to the kingdom of your heart is endless. Go without mind and body. Go fearlessly, with pockets light and the weight of gold inside your chest, your crown of jewels ablaze. Claim the thrown to your imperial soul forevermore.  

In the Clay of the Pot

"Be clear like a mirror reflecting nothing." - Rumi

I started this year with a bold proclamation: Feel Damn Good. And I must say, I’ve done a pretty Damn Good job at it. So good in fact, that I haven’t spent too much time thinking. I’ve just been feeling… Feeling Damn Good.

But I suppose it’s time to reacquaint myself with my brain. I do need it I guess. However, I will say that since it’s been on vacation, I haven’t missed it all that much. The mind can be such a buzz kill. It can create worlds of superfluous emotion. Emotions, I have come to find, are not the same as feelings. Emotions are an affective state of consciousness from which feelings are roused. Feelings are sensations that are born from the perception of touch. Emotions are a product of the mind. Feelings are a product of the heart.

Emotions are mercurial; they are flighty, volatile and erratic. They are ephemeral, evanescent; they are ghosts of thought, slippery and fleeting. We mustn’t give permanent reality to temporary things.

We mustn’t give permanent reality to temporary things.

The roots of the universe are love and light. Fear, depression, anger, despair and doubt are all reflections of the way our minds temporarily distort the light. Darkness is a product of intellect. But when we go beyond intellect into the silence of our intuitive hearts, knowledge gives way to wisdom. Because… Because the heart knows the soul better than the mind.

The roots of the universe are love and light. Every single experience we have can serve to renew our appreciation of that fact. There is a divinity in all things, and in order to find that divinity, that peace and ultimate “feel good,” we must work outside of our tiny minds and within the divine material of the universe… In the clay of the pot is the truth of God. If we see ourselves in a larger tapestry, as part of the creative pulse that is God, we realize that ultimate validation and ultimate bliss is in our deepest being.

Drenched, Dripping, Wet with Bliss

Two thousand thirteen. Hello. I welcome you.

I welcome you in strength and with love. I welcome you with no regrets. I welcome you with wings outstretched and hopes for the extraordinary.

I stand at the precipice of 2013, look up and see endless opportunity. I see a mountain that I am ready to climb. A challenge I am ready to master. I see myself atop the highest peak looking down into a shimmering ocean of infinite bliss, sparkly new beginnings, glistening new adventures. I see the beginning of all beginnings, the unified heart of all hearts, the shining, burning tornado of desire, the radiant vital vortex of hope and faith and anticipation that lives within each and every one of us as we stand in the doorway of this brand new year – ripe with possibility.

I see that there is so much more than I could ever see. So much beyond the limits of my little mind and this little blog – these fleeting words – my itty bitty world. And it absolutely thrills me. It thrills me to know that I am just a microscopic piece of this enormous puzzle in this glorious world, because oh my god what I have yet to experience. Oh my god what awaits me off my tiny radar screen.

The whole world is a work of art. And I am a part of it. We are each a part of it. We are the words. We are the music. We are the thing itself.

Life is not something we can hold onto. It is not something we will ever wrap our arms around. Life is a luminous halo, a semitransparent envelope surrounding us from the beginning of consciousness until the end. In 2013 I will make it my mission to glow, to bathe myself in the light from life’s halo, so I am drenched, dripping, wet with bliss. I will make it my mission to be blissful, to be utterly blissed out and delighted by the passing of each new day because there is no better way to face it. Because there is no better way to face it and because it feels damn good.

2013 will be about feeling damn good.

Bring it.

Love, Sweat & Tears - The burn of being alive

I am someone who likes to sweat. Often and profusely. Let me explain.

I have a close relationship with my body. I love feeling my heart pound, breath quicken, pulse race, legs, chest, lungs burn. I love to feel sweat dripping from my face, off my chin, into my eyes, down to my ankles. I love to feel my body work. I like to GO. DO. I’m an animal. I’m a seeker. I’m an overachiever. I’m sorry. Don’t hate me.

It’s just that I love to push myself to the brink, to exhaustion, in everything – mind, body and spirit. It is amazing how far we can push ourselves. Our bodies are a marvel. Our minds are magnificent. Our spirits are unbreakable.

And our hearts…

Our hearts are enormous. Colossal. Their capacity is endless. They are the receptacles of all things living. We must push our hearts as we do our minds and bodies and spirits.

Our hearts are not fragile; not really. Not if we are brave enough to keep them open. Not if we are unafraid. Not if we have faith that we will be okay - and we will always be okay. It is the heart's capacity to rise again and again after falling. We must keep it open or we risk missing the beauty and wonderment and absolute bliss of being alive.

The absolute bliss of being alive. Wide awake. It is why we are here. It what we were made to do. It is the multi-dimensional, multi-sensory, boundless adventure of being human. It is our pounding hearts. Our pounding minds. Our pounding spirits. It is Love. It is Sweat. It is Tears. It is all of it.

Do not miss it. Do not miss the burn of being alive. Do not miss having your insides bubble and flutter and glow with the vigor of the universe, every querulous fiber of your being lit up and set on fire. Push yourself. Feel the burn and do not mistake. It is just God breathing on the embers of your soul.